I Got You...From a Distance

I didn't do anything too special for Mother's Day this year but spent it with my parents and brother and of course, Chunks. He brought home my very first Chunks-made Mother's Day card from school on Friday and I was more than GOOD with that! Isn't it pretty! :-)

We spent the morning on the play ground to burn off some of that boy energy (LORD it's just different isn't it??). I watched Chunks run and slide and swing, hovering close by- this is NY after all but I noticed he wouldn't try the "new" obstacle courses unless he saw me or without me coaching him telling him he could do it and so our lesson began...

I was never the kind of mom who ran to my child's side every time he fell. I'd cringe because my Chunks was hurt but if it wasn't a bad fall (meaning blood or white meat) I'd just encourage him to get back up, dust off, and tell him to keep going with my favorite line "It's Nothing" and shortly he got it. They really do cry more when they see us freak out. I always wanted to be the one that encouraged him but now that he's getting older it might be time for him to trust HIMSELF a lil more. The first two times he went over the big bridge I walked beside the course and told him he could do it and to not be scared but then it was on him.

I backed off, disappeared behind some other parents but stayed close enough and let him do his thing. He hesitated, looked around for me, and started to turn back. I made a sound, "AH!" he couldn't see me but he heard and WENT FOR IT!

When he got to the other side he was SO happy that he did it and I was standing there ready with my high five and good job! And off he went...


Part II came to the ladder, he hadn't tried it before but saw some other kids his size scaling it with no issue and thought he should try. When he pulled up to the second rung something told him he couldn't do it so he started to climb down. AH! TRY! He heard me, but couldn't see me and I watched him think about it (it really was funny, he was stuck on the first rung really thinking LOL). I walked behind him and coached on how to do it never touching him and surprise surprise HE MADE IT!!

He celebrated for a minute and was on his way but I was stuck in that moment PROUD! Proud my kid knows he can do anything! Proud that he can be scared but trusts my voice enough that when I say he's good, he knows he's good. It's a minor to him right now, but it's a MAJOR I hope he takes with him always.

Live Life with a Laugh and a Get Back Up Spirit!

New courses are NOTHING to you son, Heaven's your limit!

Wordless Wednesday-Mother's Day

*What happens when you tell Chunks say cheese! SMH Oh well!

Source

To you who wakes before the sun to make breakfast, pack lunches, and check book bags. To the lovers who kiss boo boos, wipes away tears, catches colds for rocking the icky germs away all night, and scare the monsters away under the bed...
To the super hearts that read bedtime stories, who hold serious the conversations of super heroes and princesses, play horsey, and plan extravagant tea parties of magic tea and cookies.
To the awesome teachers that make up the silliest songs to teach ABCs, 123s, and rhyming words and will perform in front of anyone at the cue of that little voice no matter how embarrassing!
The the prayer warriors who whisper silent prayers in the silent moments...

I HONOR YOU!

*Single Mothers- my hat's off to you! To do it alone and build your own village and raise awesome children and never look for a Thank You. THANK YOU!! You ROCK!

*God-Mothers and Aunties who stand in the gap-WE LOVE YOU!

*Grandmothers- we are forever in debt to you, Thank You for your wisdom, stories, and watchful eyes.

To everyone who holds the Mommy title, wear it with pride! It's an amazing job/experience to be a Mother and I for one would never trade my title for anything! 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

My Gut

On Sunday I re-watched Beyonce's Next Chapter episode on OWN and she is someone I don't know but am so very proud of and happy for (Tamar is another)! Like really! I see her get misty when she wants the world to understand she's no different from every other woman, how she lights up at the mention of her husband, and how in heaven she is talking about her daughter I couldn't help but feel like "GOOD FOR YOU!"

The one point that rang out to me (other than our very similar birth experiences) was when she said she was finally getting to a point where she listened to herself faster. I was sitting in my room like YES! That's it!

I have this bad habit of taking forever chewing over a decision and trying to see all sides before I make a decision even when it should be a no brainer. I will run it by a million people hoping they'd tell me what to do and fix it and then finally go away somewhere by myself and make my decision and then think to myself "Why did I take so long?" I've noticed that that is not happening as often.

I'm very good in a crunch situation, when everyone is going crazy I'm pretty cool and thinking of a plan but give me time with a thing??? I will lose sleep and put holes in the floor before finally saying This Is It lol but I don't know if it's maturity, experiences, or being a mom but lately I'm realizing that just going into myself is my place and if I go in for a minute I can make a choice that I'm truly happy with a lot faster than in the past. So I'm grateful for that growth and hope it only gets easier.

Today I'm linking up with The Lovely Blog Hop over at Her and Nicole!

30 Things Series-#3 Describe Your Relationship with Your Wasband

OK so this post is supposed to be about my relationship with my spouse in my 30 Things series DEEP BREATH...LOL no I'm joking, it's not that crazy.

My relationship with my Wasband, if I'm being honest, I will say should not have happened. The headspace I was in when we met is what led me to that relationship and I can honestly say I am NOT that girl anymore. It was a GREAT relationship. My first true love. We had an amazing time together, laughed together, traveled all over together. He really was my BEST friend for a time and exactly what I "needed" for back then. Any man that I am with from here on out will have no choice but to romance me because he set that bar SUPER HIGH. Horse and carriage rides through the city because, well it's Wednesday!

Our marriage is over but I've said it before when I look back on it I'm not angry or bitter (maybe a little resentful at times but hey I'm human). He was just braver than me and walked away from something he wasn't completely happy in. Do I think he regrets it, yea, but it was a necessary hurt and now I hope I speak for both of us when I say it's passed.

I've been thinking more and more about trying to reach out and facilitate a relationship with Chunks and his dad but still sorting out how I would handle any of the emotions Chunks could go through (I want NO MORE Mommy guilt) so I guess we'll have to work all that out. I don't think he doesn't want a relationship with his son I just think he doesn't know how to get through me lol and I understand, we'll see...


Chunks,
I was a bit reckless in your creation but God knows why those two kids met then and created the BEAUTIFUL child that is our pride and joy. The minute we met you, you owned our hearts! NEVER think that what happened between Mommy and Daddy had ANYTHING to do with you but know that EVERYTHING we do is FOR YOU.  Your Dad was so proud of his SON and you have is vibrant spirit and dramatic ways at times and gorgeous lashes! I believe I was built to be your Mommy and we're gonna rock this thing called Life to the fullest together (until you find some chick to marry and I'll try to like her too, hussy).  Whatever you want kiddo, Heaven's the limit for you!

Another MANIcure Monday

I'm back and Org Chem MAKES SENSE!!

After all these years I can say it all depends on the professor teaching it and constantly reminding yourself how much you've already spent on this class and it's credit hours. I've taken two midterms in my refresher courses and walked away with 2 As, thank you very much! So I'm feeling a little more confident about the MCATS this summer! They've added some more subjects to the exam and taken away the essay so it's a little more challenging than the first time I took it but Physics and Organic Chem were the thorns in my side and I think I've gotten it this time.

Anyway, that's not why you're here...let's get on with the NAILS!

I recently picked up some of these styling brushes (the brush version to the pens) and decided to keep it simple. It's another Essie polish (who's shocked?), girlier than I'm used to but it works for a week full of meetings and my anal self who sees a chip and has to do it all over.

The color's light and pretty and the subtle white and silver make me feel like my nails are much longer than they are. I LIKE!

Of course I'm linking up with my girlies Efie and MiMi and their fab link up, Join US!

Wordless Wednesday-Signs of Spring Bk Edition