There was a time when I had a pretty large number of friends and people I hung out with. I remember blushing and feeling great at birthday and graduation speeches that friends would make using the line "Candace is the greatest friend you could ever ask for", my best friend made me cry at her graduation when she thanked "the number one person she'd call to move a body". It made me feel great to be surrounded by such love and appreciation, especially when I knew how much I loved them right back!
I used to be a 'Yes Ma'am', meaning even though I didn't want to go, do it, hear it, or watch it I said yes anyway just to make someone happy. As I really grew up and into my big girl panties the word NO became easier and easier to say (I'm still working on it with new people, weird? yes I know) but I noticed how people started to just fall off. Some I was happy to say bye to, some I just had to read the benediction over the friendship and move on, and some just couldn't hang with a a-newly wed, b-mom, c-20 something with med-school ambitions. It hurt to lose my circle but I've learned that everything happens for a reason and people come and go but always with a purpose. It's something I've kept to teach Chunks when he begins making friends, to always be your own and choosing temporary discomfort over long-term resentment.
One of my major prayers right now is that God opens me back up to a few and faithful friends that will deserve my loyalty (Pisces people smh loyal to a fault) and friendship and who I will grow from just by knowing them. I've met some great people recently but I have to be honest I developed a pretty thick skin to people when it comes to reaching out and letting them in too close. I blame this mainly on not really knowing what to look for, as in red flags, the loud, out-rageous types seem to be attracted to me I guess because I'm the complete opposite lol.
In time, I'm sure. In time...
10 comments:
Losing friendships is never easy. I've experienced this strain since I got married. It's like my single mom friends have abandoned me because I rediscovered love.
But I too am learning to let God guide me to more loyal and lifelong friends in other places like my playgroup, new church, my blog, etc.
I'm sure the transition is not easy, but like you said, everything happens for a reason. I'm also learning more and more that come people come into my life for a mere season, and that's quite alright. Some of them, I mourn the loss, others i say "good bye and good riddance!" LOL. It is also my prayer that God sends me faithful friends. We're young... we have time, right?
PS: We live SO CLOSE to each other. Playdate on the horizon when the weather gets nicer? And I'll see you at Buzzing Bloggers, right? I'm bringing Aiden, will you bring Chunks?
Agree with both of you, I need to get out and be more active again and I'm sure He'll send friends then. @Alicia YES! Def when it gets warmer, I'll be bringing Chunks along to the Expo so he and Aiden can hang out then
As you grow and change sometimes the friends you had will not not grow with you. It's sad because I think we all have lost friends along the way but my motto is if they are still with me through my ups and downs then they are the ones to keep. If a friend can say goodbye to easy then they were never a friend in the first place. I have lost a lot of friends but I feel that the more I loose the more I gain and you will know in your heart who should be in your circle from who should not.
My issue is being so far away from my friends and not having adjusted to getting close to making new ones. Now don't get me wrong its very easy for my to make friends. Like you, I'm a pisces and we are just loyal people in general, so making friends is not a problem for us. But after being here (Nashville) for 3 years, I still have not really connected to anyone in a way that makes me feel "at home". And now we may be moving again, maybe that's why God has not allowed any real attachments to anyone, but it gets lonely at times. And meeting new people is not the same like your friends you've known for years. I'll be praying for you girl!
~Fairy Glam Mother
www.FairyGlamMother.com
friendships truly get harder and harder the older we get, so know that it's not just you! and hats off to your for making it work in nyc--navigating with a baby is challenging anywhere, let alone nyc! my mom still tells me stores about trying to get my stroller down the subway stairs.... ;)
I think motherhood really changes you and unfortunately not all friends are the "right" friends for life. Now that I have such little time, I really have to evaluate friendships and if they're hard or meaningless, they're the first to go. My family is my priority now and I'm different than I used to be.
Friends are definitely hard to come by. I have lost some and gained even better ones. All of my friends have children and are married so they understand. Sometimes we have to chat on Twitter to keep up but its fine.
Losing friends isn't easy but needed in life as we grow. We lose ones that are no longer relevant to what is important in the now, and gain ones who understand what we are going through. The ones that stand the test of time are truly the ones that are one of a kind. I know you'll find them!
Friends are soooo hard to come by. It's been hard since I moved to Atlanta 6 years ago now. I am only just now beginning to grow a small group of friends. I've got about 2.5 :). But I am still praying for those real sista friends!
I feel just the opposite that everything happens for a reason. I am angry because the things I did for my close group of friends or the things we went through I guess it didn't mean as much to them as it did to me because they have completly disappeared and talking to them on the phone and wanting them to spend time with me is like pullin teeth
Post a Comment
Let's Chop It Up!